Mom told Me To

I wish I could start this blog in a more diplomatic way, but the honest truth is: my mom told me to start it. You see, today my song ‘Do You’ was placed on Billboard Magazine by trend setter Jon ALi – and you’d think that’s the most memorable thing about my day – but as it turns out, there’s more.. as there always is.

The day started out normal enough, waking up to my little son Curtis, who is a 10 pound (maybe 15 due to COVID, don’t judge) shitzu yorkie. With the quarantine in place, we’ve found an area to walk for an hour that doesn’t involve interacting with many people. We took that walk, and he loved it. He skipped and danced, made sure to let me know he was happy. Soon after, everything changed.

About 10 minutes from home, Curtis found a treasured piece of human shit, rolled up in toilet paper. He not only sniffed it, he ate it. All while I was finding out I was on Billboard magazine for the first time. As we’ve all learned, COVID can live in shit – so I did the thing most sane people wouldn’t, I called my mother to tell her what happened.

“YOU NEED TO QUARANTINE HIM FOR 14 DAYS, HE CAN NO LONGER SLEEP WITH YOU” screamed my mother over the phone.

As much as I appreciate her dedication, that will never happen. Curtis is my life – I’d rather sleep with him and take my chances. I proceeded to take Curtis home and give him a shower he would never forget. Think Silkwood, but without the compassion.

I’m still wary to interact with him, and also wary to celebrate this landmark in my life (Billboard’s a big deal) – for now, I’ll have some wine and let him sleep at the edge of the bed. Far enough from my nasal passage, but not far away from my heart.

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